Random Thoughts

I've noticed how easily I'm influenced by my surroundings. It's harder to upset me when I wear yellow or if the sun is shining. I'm more likely to sing sad songs when it's raining. That sort of stuff. I don't really know why or if other people are influenced just as easily as I am. I was just sort of wondering about it.

I'm graduating now and the thing that keeps surprising me is how nice people are. I live in a great neighborhood, but I didn't expect so many neighbors to congratulate me and give me and all the other graduates presents. It's not like I'm doing anything particularly kind for them by graduating, they just want to be nice. I guess it surprises me because I'm not the kind of person who would go out of my way to give gifts to people I don't know very well personally. I guess there's something for me to learn here.

Writing or Reading

When people ask me what I want to do when I grow up (or at least major in), I tell them that I don't know. When they ask what I like to do, I say "Read". Then they atomatically go, "Oh, you could be a writer."

I have read hundreds of books in my life time. I know for a fact that I never want to stop reading. If you put a paper with words in front of me, I will read it. It's like putting food in front of a starving person. However, just because someone enjoys food, they do not neccesarily want to become a chef. Eating and cooking are totally different skills. I think everyone should learn how to cook, at least the very basics for survival.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against writing. I just haven't mastered it to the extent I have with reading. "That's because reading is easier than writing", I hear you say. Of course it is. A lot of people could eat a gourmet meal, a lot of people could even enjoy and appreciate it. But only a few people could create it.

I enjoy a fun book, I'm learning to appreciate good books, but I don't have any compelling desire to write all the time. I would love to be a writer, but I don't see it as the only thing I could ever do. I definitely have a creative streak, where I will want to create something very badly. I also get ideas for writing every so often, but the last time I finished a whole story was probably in the Fourth grade. I've written loads of stuff since then, but I haven't finished any of it. Maybe that's just laziness, or being fickle or something. But I also don't have enough experience to say I could be a good writer.

Almost Spring

Normally, I would hate anything that would make me get up an hour earlier than usual. But ever since we moved the clocks for daylight savings, it feels so much like spring. Even though there is still snow on my yard, it just feels like winter is heading off to vacation. Little green blades are sticking up all over in our garden and I can't wait for the flowers. I'm so excited for Spring. It's my favorite time of year.

Northanger Abbey

Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey is officially on my list of favorite books. I think my sister thought I was crazy when I was trying to tell her how funny the narrator was. All that stuff about what is expected of heroines and how it didn't apply to Catherine at all. I thought it was pretty funny how totally hard core Austen was beating up all the novel writers. It was like listening to someone's very well thought out tangents.
I like Catherine a lot. I hope I don't sound conceited or anything, but she was just like me, but a little more naive and cluesless. I probably would be at the same intelligence level if it wasn't for school, so I think we are fairly even. She is so nice and agreeable. I really respected her when she cleared up the whole mess about walk with the Tilneys in Chapter 12. It takes courage to apologize even when the error isn't your fault. Catherine may not be as smart as some of Austen's other heroines, but she is undeniably a good person and not nearly as stupid as many other characters. As soon as I read about Mr. Henry Tilney, I liked him. He is just the kind of guy I usually end up likeing. He's smart, funny and kind - in that order.
The only problem is that Catherine gets to be married at the age of eighteen. If I write a story about a teenager it is not going to end with everything working out for the boy/girl relationship. They ALWAYS end that way. I get sick of it. My life is not like that. Life can go on without having a boyfriend. Some books need to have that ending but I haven't found one that ends differently yet. It seems like the everyday, real-to-life books always end with the girl and the boy being together. Life is not alwasy like that for teenagers. So that bothers me a little in general.
Another thing I noticed is that all those seemingly random qoutes at the begining totally tie into the story and are all things that Catherine could have used knowing before hand. More proof of Jane Austen's great wit. I love how satirical the whole thing is, yet how well I relate to the main character.
I highly recomend this one. After all, if you like to read in general, I think you can appreciate Austen's mockery of novels and their writers, and if you don't like to read you won't care whether I recomend it or not.
But then again I'm probably "about as ignorant and uninformed as the female mind at seventeen usually is."

It's official: I'm kinda nerdy

I was watching Mulan with my brother and half the time all I could think about was how badly they treated women in general and how women's rights was a theme to that movie. Like near the end when the annoying guy says "She's a woman, she'll never amount to anything." Gah! How annoying. Or near the beginning when the townspeople are singing, "We all must serve . . . in some way, boys for bearing arms, girls for bearing sons." I was pointing out some of these things to by brother because he was wondering who the match-maker was and I told him how they didn't choose who they married, the adults chose for them. And then I went on a tangent about how that was all a girl could do: get married. If you fail at that then you pretty much failed at life. Then he asked why the Emperor didn't do something to fix that, because he seemed like a good person. =) Golly, I love that kid. I really hope he doesn't have to read The Good Earth for a very long time.
Anyway, it's just another proof of my nerdiness. I started unintentionally analyzing the themes of a Disney movie. Sigh, I see what my teacher meant about not talking to people about what you really think about movies unless they are an English nerd too.

Sunshine

I noticed today that the sky was light when I left the house at 7:45. Hooray! Even if winter is far from over, at least the days are getting longer. I need more sunlight. Maybe I should go outside more often instead of sitting on the couch all day . . . but really there doesn't seem to be anything to do outside unless you want to go swim through all that snow. Playing in the snow is fun unless you are by yourself. Then I think it is very lonely. Just you and all that silent snow. It's pretty peaceful, but I get cold before I can get enough sunlight. Sometimes I wish I could just sleep through winter like a tree. Not like a bear, like a tree.

Random Readings

I was bored today and I read random parts from my Literature book. I decided I would love to do Scene 7 from The Glass Menagerie and play the part of Laura. When I read it I just have to try to act out her part, or read it aloud or something. The shyness, the unbelieveable joy of a forgotten wish coming true and then the smothering cold reality setting back in, is just so powerful. I don't know whether to cry or just read it again once I finish. I think it would be a highly interesting experience to try to act Laura's part, it's so different from anything I've ever done before. Hm. Well, chances are that you don't know what I'm talking about, but that's all right.

February

It's finally February 1st. It came pretty quickly, but I was expecting it. Feb.'s going to be a busy month all right. We perform TTaC on the 20th. I do have some good news though. I applied to BYU and BYU-I. Finally. Yay! I am so glad to have that out of the way.

First post! Yay! Not "yea."